I Never Should Have Left
by FANpire1120
Summary: What if Edward had saved Bella after her infamous cliff-diving endeavor, instead of Jacob? Please Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys I just wanted to write a fanfic about what might have happened if Edward had been the one to save Bella in New Moon. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight related...tear**

**I Never Should Have Left **

_The current won at that moment, shoving me abruptly against something hard, a rock invisible in the gloom. It hit me solidly across the chest, slamming into me like an iron bar, and the breath whooshed out of my lungs, escaping in a thick cloud of silver bubbles. The iron bar seemed to be dragging me, pulling me away from Edward, deeper into the dark, to the ocean floor. _

_Goodbye, I love you, was my last thought._

_Yes. _I thought as I heard his velvety voice, flaked with worry. His voice was more real than ever.

Soon, I was out of the water that had been engulfing me mere seconds before. My eyes were burning so badly that there was no way to tell who my rescuer was. Suddenly, I felt an ice-cold, rock-hard hand hitting my back, and water was streaming through my nose and mouth. Then it happened. I heard his voice, "Breathe, Bella, please!" It was so clear…so _real. _It was his, it was _his_ voice, velvety as ever, but tainted with worry. This couldn't be my imagination, it just couldn't. I was rubbing my eyes frantically trying to regain my vision so I could see his face once more, but I couldn't; black spots were obscuring my vision and I couldn't help but be pulled into blackness. But right before I succumbed to the darkness I got out one word in a hoarse, tired voice-

"Edward"

**A/N: This is more of a prologue than anything, so just tell me if you want me to continue it. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey, Thanks for all of your reviews, I wasn't going to continue with this story, but now I am going to see it through!! Thanks for all of the nice comments, I hope I don't disappoint**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Twilight :(**

Edward's POV

I had broken things off with Bella, and the sad part was that I couldn't follow through. I knew I was doing it for her, no matter how much it hurt me, I had to. I had to keep her safe, at all costs, even if it killed me. I wouldn't be able to handle it if I were to kill her by accident. If I even lost control for one moment she would be dead, without question. I couldn't stay with her and keep her safe so I did the only thing that I thought I could do, I ended it.

Ever since that moment in the forest, my life has been at a record low. I was an absolute wreck. And what's worse, is that I couldn't even follow through with my plan. You see, I never truly left. I couldn't. Believe me, I tried. It's been a never ending struggle. But, I couldn't leave her. Not with Victoria still out there, plotting her next move.

It killed me to see her in the untimely state she was in after I left. I wanted so badly to pull her into my arms and promise her that everything would be alright. Unfortunately, I would never be able to _make _that particular promise, for it would cause me to break another one. I had promised her that night in the forest that she would never have to see me again. I said that so she would have the opportunity to move on with her life. Her _human _life. But just because I promised she would never have to see _me _again, didn't mean that I couldn't watch over _her. _

I allowed myself to check on her almost every night, but I never stayed for long. One night I broke and stayed all night. It ripped me apart. She cried and screamed and I was ashamed with myself for letting her hurt this way. I actually don't even think ashamed covers it, I was disgusted with myself. I knew that this wouldn't last for long, at least that's what I told myself. I knew that eventually, she would get over me and find someone new, someone whole. She had to. So I continued to stay hidden, no matter how much it killed me. When she started spending time with Jacob Black it was almost a relief for me. This was what I wanted so badly, for her to go through her life as a human, right?

I started using Jacob's thoughts as my medium to Bella. When they had started seeing each other more and more, she was all he thought about. It was killing me. Hearing Jacob think about Bella the way he did almost caused me to come unglued, but I knew it was for the best. I attempted to leave again, this time for good, because she was obviously starting to move on. But, I was still drawn to her, and that caused me to yet again fail at attempting to leave. I stayed within a few miles radius of Jacob so that his thought would always be there when I needed them.

I stopped listening to Jacob's thoughts so much because of how badly it hurt. I essentially skimmed over them every once in a while just to make sure she was ok. I did go to see Bella on occasion. I didn't stay all night like I did that one time, I just popped my head in and out of her window and I was gone.

I was walking on the outskirts of the reservation checking up on Jacob's thoughts. Bella had been staying at the reservation quite frequently because of Victoria…safety measures. Before today Jacob was constantly thinking about how cool it was that he and Bella had ridden motorcycles together. Did this kid honestly not realize how much of a klutz Bella was, and she could kill herself just trying to get on one of those things? Every day since then I prayed to whatever god would listen that Bella would return to her home safe, and unharmed. So far they were answering my prayers. Jacob felt bad about leaving Bella alone apparently he had found her wandering around on the beach on several occasions after coming back from trying to track down Victoria. I already knew this. There really wasn't anything new going on in his mind today...so I decided to go for a swim. This wasn't the first time I had gone to watch Bella walking along the beach. I just couldn't help myself, I missed her so much. It was the only thing that kept me going, seeing her only for a few seconds helped me. It helped me not to curl up in a ball and go insane. Just seeing her beautiful face for the tiniest moment was the closest thing to heaven that I would ever know.

Suddenly, I had a sinking feeling in my gut that something was going to happen. And not something good. I searched the land for Bella and was surprised to find her taking a different route along the sandy beach. All I could think was 'Bella, please don't do something stupid'. I skimmed over the land one more time, and I froze. She had made it to the top of a cliff. 'Bella' was all I could think. 'Don't do this' I didn't know what the hell she was doing, but it didn't look good. All I could think to do now was beg…Please, please, please. But then she did it, 'NO BELLA'. I saw her flying through the air, plummeting to the rocky waters below, and I heard her screaming. She landed with a splash, and I didn't see her come up.

I swam as fast as I possibly could. I had been careful not to go onto the reservation because I didn't want to cause any trouble, but those things just seemed so trivial to me now. I kept replaying what I had seen in my head over and over again, torturing myself. Her scream was still ringing in my ears as I made my mad dash to the bottom of the cliff. All I could think was 'keep swimming!' and for her to keep fighting. 'Damn it, Bella keep fighting.' Why did she jump? What could have possibly possessed her to do that? This was the thought that tore at my insides. Could I have caused that?

I reached the bottom of the cliff, and I couldn't see her anywhere. Was I too late? I started searching frantically in the water, looking at all of the unforgiving rocks that could have ended her precious life, when I finally saw her. She was fighting the currents, but I could see her giving up. NO BELLA DON'T GIVE UP was all I could think. There was a look of calm and contentment on her face as her hair swirled around her. Without even thinking twice I grabbed her, not bothering to think about how much force I was using. I dragged her to the surface and laid her down on the soft beach.

I was starting to go into hysterics. I started pounding on her back, trying to get the wretched water out of her. I didn't know what I would do if I lost her.

"Breathe, Bella, please!"

Then, all of the sudden she was rubbing at her eyes, the first movement she had made besides coughing up water as I pounded on her back. Then she started going limp in my arms, but I swear before she closed her eyes, I heard her whisper "Edward".

**A/N: Hang in there guys...The good stuff is coming up!!:) Review PLEASE!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey! Thanks fo r all of the great feedback! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I think there is only going to be one more chapter after this one, so tell me what you think :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Twilight**

Bella's POV

I felt a little disoriented, but I was still too exhausted to even attempt to open my eyes. But after a few seconds, I realized I heard a noise from far away. It was beautiful, and it started growing louder and louder in my ears until I realized what it was, it was the humming of a very familiar song. In that instant, I remembered everything that had happened. Edward was back and he was humming my lullaby in my ear. Everything came crashing in around me, just hearing that beautiful song again made all my memories with Edward and the fact that he saved me come to the surface of my mind within a second. My eyes flew open as I started to comprehend and remember. I saw him, I saw his face above mine looking anxious, frantic even, asking me if I was ok. I nodded and tried to sit up, not completely believing my eyes. I felt him gently push down on my shoulders.

"Bella, I don't know if you should sit up quite yet. Are you feeling dizzy? Faint? Do you want me to take you to Carlisle? I would have done it earlier, but I was afraid to move you." Edward tried to explain, but I didn't care, I flung my arms around his neck, just wanting to touch him. I had barely even touched his cold skin when I realized something, and pulled my arms away quickly. What if he wasn't real? I didn't want to get tricked by my own dreams and have to start my grieving process all over again. I couldn't go through all that again, and now he was "here" in front of me, it would be so easy to believe he was real. I had imagined him back in my arms so many times, so vividly, how could I know this was any different. I looked away from him, not wanting to get too used to seeing his face, for it would probably be ripped away from me as soon as I woke up. How ridiculous was I, to start believing even for a second that he had returned? That would be too good to be true.

"Is it really you? Am I still unconscious?" I asked, afraid to hear the answer, afraid that all too soon he would be gone again and another one of my ever so faithful nightmares would be confirmed. He looked at me, anguish and hurt in his eyes.

"Bella, I'm sorry I came. If you don't want me to be here, the last thing I would want to do is hurt you." he said not looking into my eyes. I still couldn't let myself think that this was really happening, that all my wishes and dreams were finally coming true after months and months of pushing them down, and telling myself that he would never be back. All of this was happening so fast, I didn't know what exactly to believe, I was torn between two options; I could either keep "Edward" away so that when I woke up it wouldn't hurt so much, or I could soak up what little time I had with any form of Edward I could get. I guess he thought that I looked confused while I was contemplating my options because he started talking again, trying to further explain himself and apologize for his actions.

"It's just that when I saw you jump off of that cliff I didn't even think twice before coming to get you. I just couldn't handle losing you like that…" I cut him off when he said this, my confusion turning into anger and frustration. Did he realize just how many questions arose in my mind just from that small explanation? Why did I have to torture myself this way?

"Hold on a second, you said you didn't want to _lose_ me? Then why the HELL did you leave me in the first place? You have no say in whether I live or die because you are the one who is killing me. You said you were leaving and you didn't love me anymore and you were never coming back! You have no idea how much those words have been eating away at me for months and months!" He flinched and looked like he was in so much pain that I suddenly realized that in all of my other dreams he was gone by now. In my other dreams I didn't even have the chance to ask him why he left. Every time he left me in my nightmares I would wake up screaming all over again, but somehow this dream was different. He looked down not able to meet my unbelieving eyes and turned around to leave.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I won't bother you again." With a sudden shock, I realized no matter how much it hurt after I woke up from this, even if it was a dream, which I wasn't so convinced of anymore, I didn't want him to leave ever again. Even if he did eventually leave, and there was even the slightest chance that this was real, I still wanted to have him with me. Isn't that why I jumped off that stupid cliff in the first place, to hear his voice one more time? I'd spent this entire time over-thinking everything and now he was walking away from me again, and I had hurt him.

"Edward WAIT!" I shouted. "I KNOW THIS ISN'T REAL" I screamed over the pounding rain, not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself, "AND THIS IS JUST ANOTHER ONE OF MY DREAMS" I was starting to lose my will to scream, but I wanted him to stay so badly. I began to sob trying to get the words out. "BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO WAKE UP ANYTIME SOON!" My voice was now nothing but a whisper "So if you could not leave that would be really great" I sobbed and pleaded to him. I began holding my sides as I cried, trying not to fall apart all over again. The hole in my chest was on fire at this point. He turned around and looked at me, confusion and alarm etched into his already anguished face.

"Please stop crying. I'm so sorry." He said pleading with me, but then he looked confused as he thought about what I had said. "Wait, you don't think I am real?" he asked quietly.

"Of course I don't. You coming back is way too good to be true, but I don't care if it is real or not, please don't leave…I need you." I begged, now sinking into the wet sand. He walked over to me, pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me. I put my arms around his neck soaking up his smell and every bit of him I could have. I was crying and he just held me.

"Bella you have to believe that this is real. I am really here and so are you, and if you are willing to take me back I will never leave you again, I promise. I know that my promises are probably shot to hell right now but you have to know that leaving you was the worst mistake of my life. I did it only to protect you. I thought it would hurt you more if I stayed than if I left so I did what I thought was best. I am still just as madly and deeply in love with you as I was before, if not more so." He assured me. I couldn't believe it, he was really here, and I was touching him, hugging him, and crying into his stone chest; how real could it get? I stopped crying, happiness taking over all of my emotions; I hugged him tighter never wanting to let him go. The rain had essentially stopped by now and he pulled away slightly, which scared me, but then I realized it was only so he could put a soft peck on my lips. I smiled and hugged him again. We laid down in the sand holding each other and looking up at the cloudy sky. Everything was perfect and I was content, a smile plastered on my face. I just looked at him, engraving his godlike image into my mind all over again. I watched him and started thinking…

"Hey Edward?" I asked carefully.

"Yes love?"

"I was just wondering how in the world you found me in time. I thought I was going to drown, and then all of the sudden there you were." I said, still not completely believing it.

"Bella, to be completely honest…I never left. I just couldn't. I tried so many times, but I couldn't leave Forks." Holey crow! He never left Forks. He was that close this whole time and I didn't know it? How is that possible? "I used Jacob Black's thoughts as my connection to you. As you two started getting closer it was easier for me to do; you were all he thought about." He said grimacing. "I did whatever I had to do to make sure you were fine. I came to check on you sometimes." He said apprehensively, watching for my reaction. I just looked shocked, I still couldn't believe it.

"What?" was all I could think of to say.

"Yeah, I made sure you didn't see me though. I didn't want to ruin whatever progress you had made." He explained quickly.

"Progress?" I laughed. "I don't think I made any _progress_. When exactly did you come and see me?" I couldn't believe he had been back and I had no idea. That was almost unfathomable to me.

"I came at night and watched you sleep in your room, but only briefly, I didn't stay long, I didn't want to wake you up. You seemed to be pretty restless, so it was hard to predict when you were really asleep."

"Did you ever see me waking up?" I asked nervously because I knew nine times out of ten I always woke up screaming.

"Just once." His face looked tormented by the memory.

"Oh, what happened?" I asked wondering what exactly he had seen.

"It took every fiber of my being not to pick you up and tell you that everything would be fine, when you were crying and screaming. I left because I thought Charlie might come in and check on you. I was too upset to try and listen out for his thoughts properly, and try to control my urge not to do something to try and help or console you at the same time. The only reason I didn't was because I knew that you would move on, you would get passed me."

"Edward, I could never get passed you. Believe me I tried, I was convinced you would never come back, but I couldn't." I said hugging myself at the memory. "I screamed almost every night after waking up from another nightmare. Charlie probably wouldn't have come to check on me when you were there; he stopped checking after a while." I said Edward looked disturbed at the memory.

"Bella, there are no words for how sorry I am for putting you through that. I will never ever do that to you again." He said his velvety voice drenched with regret.

"So did you handle it better than I did? When you left I mean." I asked hoping that he had done better than I had; he experienced first hand what I went through. I can't imagine he could have been doing any worse than that.

"No," he said "but it was different for me, I got to see you, which helped a little. But, I also had to hear that Jacob kid's thoughts. I thought that might kill me. That is how I found you; I knew he wouldn't be with you today because he was looking for Victoria, so I came to watch you walk along the beach." He said a little sheepishly. "I looked everywhere and I couldn't find you, and then I saw you…falling" he said. "Bella please tell me, I have to know, was I factoring in at all when you decided to jump?" He asked. I didn't want to tell him the truth, but his eyes were locked on mine, and I had no choice.

"Edward, the truth is that when I did any dangerous or risky thing, I heard your voice in my head telling me not to. So when I jumped off the cliff, I did it so I could hear you in my head."

"Bella…why in the world would you do that?" He said looking sad

"I know it was stupid, but I just missed hearing your voice and seeing your face so much that I went a little crazy." I said looking into his eyes. We just sat there looking at each trying to guess what was going through the other's mind, when someone came up behind us.

"What is going on here?" Jacob said.

**A/N: Please tell me what you think REVIEW PLEASE!! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks guys for all of the help in the reviews. I didn't get a lot of time to play with this chapter, so I hope I did it justice.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the always amazing Twilight **

Edward's POV

I was mentally kicking myself for not paying enough attention to the thoughts of the people possibly coming along the beach. Bella and I both shot up at the same time.

"What the HELL is this BLOOD SUCKER doing here Bella?!" Jacob yelled. I immediately felt a snarl leave my throat and I took a step forward. Bella put a hand on my shoulder signaling for me to calm down. I stepped back, but if he yelled at her again I couldn't make any promises.

"Jacob, you really need to calm down." She said as I followed her eyes to Jacob's trembling hands. All of the sudden I felt a rush of anger running through me, every single past thought he had had about Bella that had continued to torture me for months was flashing through my mind. He ignored her as he continued to glare at me, I started seeing slight shivers going up and down him.

"This leech has no business being here, or did you forget about the treaty?" He said glaring at me.

"Down puppy" I said with sarcastic laugh. At that second Jacob started to morph. Damn, I didn't really want to kill the kid. As much as I hate to admit it, he was the one to help Bella when I was gone, and I would be forever grateful to him for that. Bella stepped forward.

"Jacob please do not do this." She pleaded urgently. I pulled her back quickly, just in time for his monstrous paw to land exactly where she had been standing seconds before. I snarled at him, I took a couple of steps forward in front of Bella. Jacob looked around suddenly aware of what could have just happened if I hadn't pulled her out of the way; one thought crossed his mind, he could have killed Bella. The one he loved. Jacob trotted off into the forest and then broke into a full run.

I was irate, I wasn't even thinking clearly. I did the only thing that made sense to me; I started running after him, pouring on the speed. How dare he even come close to hurting Bella, MY Bella? Who knows what would have happened, if I was a second late getting her out of the way? She could have died. I was going to rip him apart, limb from limb. I was on his tail, quite literally, and gaining on him. He finally spun around, finally acting like a "man". We began circling each other, I was snarling, and his thoughts were definitely giving him away. "_Oh, this blood sucker wants to play…" _Jacob thought. _"Do you honestly think you can walk away from this fight alive?" _Ok, so Bella had obviously told him about my being able to hear his thoughts. "Jacob, I honestly would rather not fight you, not because I don't think I could win," I said through clenched teeth, "but because I already owe you for helping Bella when I was gone. I can at least let you live."

"_Don't do me any favors" _Jacob thought glaring at me _"In fact, I should kill you not only for being a leech, but also for hurting Bella the way you did." _Jacob had obviously seen the slight falter in my expression. _ "Oh, do you want to see…"_ Jacob thought with a wicked smile on his face. Before I knew what Jacob was doing he started thinking of Bella falling apart. She was crying and screaming and hugging herself. Flashes of her catatonic face flashed through my mind as he thought about what Bella was like when I was gone. These thoughts tortured me. I finally just went after him; I couldn't take it any longer. I was tired of his games; I would do anything to get those images out of my head. But I knew they would be engraved in my mind for the rest of eternity. A roar escaped my throat as I jumped into the air, going for the kill…

"STOP!" Bella screamed. I could hear the pleading in her voice as she caught up to where we were. I was in mid-air and I knew I couldn't kill her best friend. No matter how much I wanted to, I had already caused her enough pain. I did the only thing I could think to do at the moment; I tucked and rolled, hoping I would miss him. Luckily I did miss him, but he didn't miss me. He sent two long gashes down my back with his huge clawed paws. Yep, that stung a little. He started coming after me again as I jumped up, a little unsteadily from the ground. Suddenly Bella was between us...

**A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter. I wasn't sure about it myself, but tell me what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This is the last installment of this story! I hope everyone enjoys it! I would like to give a very special thank you to Wish I was Mrs. Danes 117 for forcing me into writing this story, and helping me edit my chapters! Thanks again, I couldn't and wouldn't have done it without you! :)  
**

Edward's POV

When Bella stepped between Jacob and me, she looked at both of us, with fury in her eyes. Jacob took a step forward and Bella gave him a look that I wouldn't want to be on the other end of. Damn, she was getting good at those death glares, I was proud. He backed off immediately, apparently not wanting to lose his temper around her again, and not wanting to be exposed to hers.

"Jacob, I said to STOP!" Bella screamed. She looked so mad, I really don't think I had ever seen her this mad before. Jacob ran a little ways into the forest, but then came right back when he was in human form once more. Bella had started talking again when he was firmly planted in front of her. "Jacob, you have got to understand something…I love having you as my friend and you have been my best friend these past couple months." She said with pleading eyes. "Jake, I love having you in my life, but you have to know that Edward _is_ my life. There is nothing that will ever change that." Jacob's thoughts were racing as she said this. "Jake, you saw how I was without him, he is my other half. Without him, I can't, and don't feel whole. I was a complete mess when he was gone, and I know you wouldn't wish that on me again." She said, her anger starting to fade. "I would really love it if you guys could please just get along. You don't have to be friends, but I would appreciate it if you would at least be civil." She said, taking a step backwards so she was no longer between us. "I couldn't handle it if one of you were to be killed, especially if it were by the other ones hands. So please, for my sake, be civil. I don't think this is too much to ask." She said a look of defiance on her face. I looked at Jacob, and I could see the unwillingness in his thoughts and eyes. He was really going to make this difficult.

That was when I stepped in. "Bella, I will try my very hardest to be civil with Jacob. If it is what you want, then consider it done, at least from my end." I said with sincerity in my voice. Bella hardly ever asked for anything, and if this was something she was asking for, then I was going to make sure it happened; no matter what answer Jacob gave.

"Thank you Edward…Jacob?" She said smiling at me, and then looking hopefully at Jacob. _"Ok, I've caved already, how can I say no to that look?" _Jacob thought as he looked at Bella. Yep, he would definitely make this hard on me.

"Ok, Bella, I will try, but I can't make any promises. If this blood sucker…I mean _Edward_, comes onto the reservation again, I will have no choice but to kill him." I think Bella realized that this was the best she was going to get out of him, so she ignored the last part.

"Alright, well I'm holding you both to that." Bella said with a smile tugging at the corners of her beautiful lips.

Jacob started talking again looking directly at me. "Edward you better leave, I can't promise that the rest of the pack will be as forgiving as I have been when they find you. When I was in werewolf form, Edward, you know exactly what was going through my head, and so did the rest of the pack. This is me being civil, telling you to leave before they rip your head off." Jacob said smiling at the end as he imagined me being ripped apart by his fellow friends.

"Thanks Jacob, we'll be leaving now, then." I said, ignoring his fantasy of my death. I also knew full well he was asking just me to leave, and he wanted Bella to stay.

"Oh, Bella, you know you could stay if you wanted to, you are always welcome here." Jacob said looking a little hopeful. But the answer to his question was already running through his own mind before Bella answered; he knew she wouldn't stay. This was just his little hint to me that he wasn't going anywhere…great.

"Oh, Jake, I think I am going to go back to my house now, but thanks." She said, looking a little unsure and uncomfortable as to why he had even asked. _"Persistence is key." _Jacob thought and gave me a smug smile before turning and sprinting back through the trees.

Once I knew we were alone, I turned to Bella. "Bella, I'm so sorry I started a fight with Jacob that was completely my fault. When he almost…even though…I don't know." I said forcing my eyes away from her penetrating gaze. I couldn't even say it. "Something inside me just snapped. It came way too close, and all I could think about was what if I hadn't been there to pull you out of the way..." she cut me off before I could finish.

"But you _were_ there, you did save me; actually I think that makes twice today." She said a smile playing across her lips.

"I'm still not quite sure how you survived without me when I was gone." I said with a mocking tone, "Because really saving you from two fatalities in one day isn't that uncommon." I said smirking slightly as she playfully slapped my arm and then commenced to jumping around holding her sore hand. I pulled her into my arms and I kissed her hand. I looked deeply into her eyes as she gazed back into mine. "Better?" I asked smiling at her. She rolled her eyes as she laughed at my crooked smile that I know she loves.

"I missed that" she said smiling at me. Her eyes locked on mine, and her hand still in my hand.

"Me too." I said smiling back.

**A/N: Review Please! I hope no one is disappointed, but if you are then review and tell me what you think I should have done instead! Thanks for reading! :)**


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